


When The Party's Over

by CircusFreakVi



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, M/M, Post-Break Up, all the emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 22:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17068091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircusFreakVi/pseuds/CircusFreakVi
Summary: This is a piece heavily inspired by the queen of angst, ko_drabbles. She's such a fantastic writer and I would totally recommend any of her stories, they are just so well written and detailed and realistic. This specific piece of mine is inspired by Creek Blues, a song fic she's written.This song fic is a bit of a sadder take on a song that isn't really sad, When The Party's Over by Billie Eilish.





	When The Party's Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ko_drabbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_drabbles/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Creek Blues](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16899138) by [ko_drabbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ko_drabbles/pseuds/ko_drabbles). 



> This is a piece heavily inspired by the queen of angst, ko_drabbles. She's such a fantastic writer and I would totally recommend any of her stories, they are just so well written and detailed and realistic. This specific piece of mine is inspired by Creek Blues, a song fic she's written. 
> 
> This song fic is a bit of a sadder take on a song that isn't really sad, When The Party's Over by Billie Eilish.

**_Don't you know I'm no good for you,_ **

**_I've learned to lose you, can't afford to,_ **

**_Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin',_ **

**_But nothing ever stops you leavin',_ **

* * *

 

This had been a relationship that was bound to crash and burn the very moment it began. This was a relationship that couldn't be an actual relationship, something just barely under that title but it never held enough of the qualifications. It was the safest thing they could do. It was the only thing they could do to protect their own image and their family's image. At least, it kept Kyoya from being under fire, and Kaoru cared more for Kyoya than his own feelings.

Sure it was unhealthy, but who cared?

They pretended that it was perfectly normal and healthy to keep something similar to a relationship hidden from their friends and their families, quiet hookups happening in the dead of night, and quick touches on shoulders to release just a bit of tension in public. It was on until a major fight and off when their need for each other became too much to handle. 

They weren't good for each other and they knew whenever it was coming to a close, yet they still fought to keep their secretive rendezvous together. However, there is always a point where it needs to end for good. 

* * *

 

**_Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own,_ **

**_And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that,_ **

**_And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that._ **

* * *

Over the years, they had come to terms with the 'walk of shame.' It wasn't completely shameful, though it wasn't at the same time. Shame mixed with the feeling of self-pity but those feelings were never allowed to poke through. They'd spend breathless nights together only to separate and come back to the reality of their situation. They'd come up in bliss and crumble into the harsh realization together in a crushing manner before pulling away from their sick game.

It was distracting to both men. They would be consumed by each other and their feelings; feelings that were almost completely open to each other but there was always still hesitation to share. Their trust for each other wavered.

Instead of being open of how they were fearing they were just using each other, they lied and pretended all was well. Even when they were convinced that they were done with each other for good, they'd come back together and lie to each other all over again. 

They always came closer to their crucial realization, though. This wasn't healthy. This needed to end.

It was Kyoya who made the ultimate decision. 

* * *

 

**_Don't you know too much already,_ **

**_I'll only hurt you if you let me,_ **

**_Call me friend but keep me closer (Call me back),_ **

**_And I'll call you when the party's over,_ **

* * *

 

There were only memories left of their times together after that.  Kyoya hadn't wanted to afflict any more pain on Kaoru than he already had but it was inevitable. Heartbreak was normal in dysfunctional relationships and they had to accept that. 

They were still friends, however. Distant friends who only saw each other very rarely but still friends. It was only a matter of time before they didn't speak anymore or and only ever got updates on each other's lives through social media. it wasn't a pretty reality. It may not be their reality. Most likely, however, it would be and they would find it hard to reconnect. 

Were they made to be _lonely_?

Or were they supposed to be together and go through these struggles?

In some way, Kyoya and Kaoru hoped for another option, but there wasn't another one for them to grasp onto. In some way, it was Kyoya who wanted their relationship to work more. That's not to say Kaoru didn't care, he did. He cared a lot. He just understood the situation they were in a lot better than Kyoya. 

They had to take what they were given and run with it. 

That childish saying  about getting what you get and not throwing a fit stuck with them through their ups and downs.

* * *

_**But nothing is better sometimes,** _

_**Once we've both said our goodbyes,** _

_**Let's just let it go** _

_**Let me let you go** _

* * *

There were still moments that hung in the air, hung in their memories, as some of the best and worst times ever. Moments that taunted them for making stupid mistakes and moments that invited them into a gentle bliss of rose-colored date nights and warm mornings under the covers held them hostage in a place where they couldn't fully recover from cutting each other off. They never reminisced together, though. At most, when some inside joke fell from either man's needy lips, they'd chuckle together, but that was it. There was no talking about it together. No sifting through memories and trying to resolve the tinge of pain in their hearts from a choice that had to be made. 

Instead, they'd find themselves thinking when alone in their homes. When Kaoru was going to bed and when Kyoya was up working. They each had their own favorite memory. 

Kyoya specifically held onto the morning after they spent the night together for the first time. That was in his final year of high school. Nothing had happened that night, but they had woken up in a lovely tangle of limbs. The morning light shone through the windows surrounding Kyoya's bed, leaving the Shadow King to bury his face in the crook of Kaoru's shoulder. He smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. It was comforting and warm, wrapping itself around him and making him feel in a daze and gave him the ability to drift back into sleep. He remembered feeling gentle kisses on his head, into his hair, and fingers brushing up and down his bare back and shoulders. Kaoru was trying to ease him out of his blissful rest and pull him into a better morning than one where he'd wake up in a cold bed, alone. They stayed in bed quite late that day and held each other. 

Kaoru's memory was a little foggier than Kyoya's. He didn't consciously remember many scents, but he was sure they could waft around him and throw him back to that day. The smell of rain was the only thing he truly remembered that stuck out from that day. It had been pouring rain, the gloomy sky hanging over their heads as they sat at the balcony at school. There were no guests that had come to the host club that day. The day ended up being used for planning future events. For Kaoru and Kyoya, however, they decided to stay behind and get a taste of serine domesticality. It was needed after the fight they had had the night before. They sat under the roof that protected them from the rain, silence pierced from the pitter patter of the water on the concrete below them. It was chilly, but Kaoru felt comforted with Kyoya there. He didn't have his computer with him. Instead, he held a book in one hand and Kaoru was wrapped in his free arm. 

He followed along with the book, eventually asking Kyoya to read to him.

Those foggy memories, different but the same, plagued their minds the most. It was hard to let those memories go and forget about the good times. It was just too difficult. 

* * *

_**Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own,** _

_**I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that** _   
_**I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that** _

* * *

 

Old memories, good and bad, were always hard to get rid of. It was always hard moving on and pretending intimate times with someone never happened. Those boys never asked for a difficult end. They had only wanted each other's attention, their love and their support and their trust. In many ways, they still has that between one another. 

They still trusted each other, probably more than before. They supported each other through these hard times, though they couldn't fall back into bad habits. They loved each other. That's why the decision had been made to end it, cut it off and never get back in such an unhealthy situation. 

They loved each other. They would always love each other. That was something they couldn't get rid of. 


End file.
